Well off we go… so every other week certainly did not happen. But the Lord has certainly been working in and through me.
With my job I get the week after Christmas and before New Years off. So mom and I decided to go stay with Mimi and Grandad (Mom’s parents) for that week. It was a great week. I don’t have any huge momentous stories to tell. It was as I always know their home to be peaceful, comfortable and safe. It is a place where I can look my worst and feel my BEST. I can eat the not so healthy things and feel fine about it because Mimi made it. I can sleep the best I have ever slept on a make shift bed because … well I am at Mimi and Grandad’s house. Any of the Lang grandchildren know exactly what I am talking about.
I serve such a powerful GOD! One of my greatest struggles with my Grandad’s Alzheimer’s is that he won’t remember his family. I have done countless things to try to help him remember. I create a book every year with photos of the whole family… in hopes that he will look at these and they will jar his memory. This last year I even focused on the past and pictures from when all of the grandchildren were smaller. He seems to remember these times better. I just desire so strongly and hope that he will have moments of clarity. Moments where he feels in control and not lost. I pray for moments of peace and less frustration. Grandad has ALWAYS loved to do Seek a word puzzles. So about two years ago I created a specific seek a word puzzle for every single individual in my family. Each page stated things about that family member that are specific to them. For example my Uncle Steve’s had words about Baylor, Track, and Permian. I thought maybe if he was doing something that he loved to do and reading those items he could have glimpses of those that LOVE him the most. This last year I had each family member paint a square with items about him. Mom and I later quilted those together. I wanted him to always cover up with that blanket so that he would be covered in our love and could look down and reflect on little memories from his family.
I am always soooo hopeful that he WILL have moments of peace and clarity. I can’t imagine every day the frustration of not being able to place where he is and who we are. But God CONITNUALLY shows me that my Grandad was never in control …. He has allowed GOD to be in control.
There was one conversation that I had with Grandad during that week at his house that will stick with me for the rest of my life. Mom and Mimi left to go to a doctor’s appointment for her so I stayed home with Grandad. I got all set up in their bedroom in the chair. I had my computer and phone with me so that I would be entertained but God had other plans. Grandad was dozing on and off and I just sat there thinking and staring. I know this could sound weird. I stared at their furniture, I stared at his face, I stared at his hands, I stared at framed pictures, and I stared at his chair. I thought and thought and thought.
- I thought about the many memories I had of me performing in the living room in Odessa on the step. Grandad sat in his chair watching all of the plays, dances and speeches. There were tons of outfit changes, programs handed out listing the performers and of course tons of laughter.
- I thought about their bedroom in Odessa where this very furniture sat and there were many monopoly games played and sick days spent. I thought of the toy sling that hung in the corner of the room with Grandad’s stuffed animals. These are the animals that were HIS… how many kids had a grandad that still had a childlike spirit enough to collect his own toys.
- His hands… I can remember him mowing the lawn in Odessa and being absolutely filthy. I remember him fixing thousands of pieces of cheese toast. I can remember him handing me medicine when I was SUPER sick with Mono. My parents were gone for a week and he was my nurse! I can remember him folding clothes and everything was absolutely perfect.
As I sat there Grandad would doze in and out of sleep and talk with his friends throughout that time. Most of the time he was back in the oil field telling those guys why and what for. Sometimes it would just make me laugh so hard I had to contain the laughter. That might sound strange but when you are in these situations that are so painfully sad, “You still have to delight in the Lord.” Delight in these moments that he has given you with him.
- To cling tight to His promise that He will NEVER give me more then I can handle.
- To be grateful for my heritage and a grandfather that invested in me.
- To be thankful for parents who made time with our grandparents a priority instead of an option.
- For amazing stories that I will get to tell my kids of times with my grandparents.
- For a grandmother who is an amazing picture of a wife. I could not have a better example. She is patient, loves him where he is at, honors him and serves him.
Grandad has good days and bad days and we thank Jesus for the good days and ask for strength in the bad. We all know what the inevitable is and what is surely going to come. But we spend these days grateful for the moments we have shared with him in the past and the moments that our Sweet Savior is giving us for closure.
Lastly, please pray for our family as we prepare for what is to come. Please pray for my sweet Mimi as she continues to care for him.